I read somewhere that thousands of thoughts cross your mind in every single second and it’s important to take care what is passing between the ears. But than what happens when the mind loses its interest in any of the thought or perhaps any activity which is lined up? Or it behaves the way it does when you are sleeping in the night.
The reason why this thought crossed my mind is because I feel no matter what we need to fill our day with some activity or the other else it’s yet another day which is added to the number of days wasted in life. And worst is this realization comes only when your mind is not preoccupied with work or any other subject and you feel that nothing around you is going well. When you seem to share this with people, the immediate expected reaction is that something is wrong within your family or did you fight with your Boy Friend etc especially in case of girls.
None of them could fathom that this could be a resultant of not being able to do thing as much as you think you could do and absolutely unable to break out of this vicious cycle comprising of interest/work etc. When I go to sleep I realize that my day is wasted and then get up knowing that you have to face the same world to be disappointed yet again.
I wish there would be a way so that we could freeze the world outside and reorganize it the way we want. But then that’s an impossible task right! You simply can’t do it! Neither you can change yourself to the demands and do the necessary adjustment by not giving a DAMM. How long can you avoid getting effected by the ambience around you and concentrate on yourself and see that you come out with flying colors and learning. Is this realistically possible? At times I feel it’s bookish gyan which is baseless, then there are times I feel that it is very much possible. You would wish to be surrounded by “ Beautiful Minds” that would inspire you to work more than you can and fall in love with what you are doing.
Then again where do we find such people? Half of the crowd that you walk with are mostly self centered, have very little or no talent at all and yet when you talk to them you would feel that they are “Know it all “kinds. When you let them speak for more than 5 minutes you could see they would have switched from one subject to another without any synchronization. On top of it they would advice you and tell that it’s “YOU” who is the problem. It’s really difficult to survive in between these people who are sitting in the middle layer of our country across all sectors be it Politics or Private companies.
Amazing thing is that you can’t just avoid it and sooner or later if you don’t stay away you might just start speaking or doing like that. Work is the place where we tend to spend 60 to 70 percent of our life if that’s not what you are enjoying than is it worth the money you are taking for it. The underlined question is to find out what you enjoy most?
Is it so easy to figure this out, as I am still struggling to find out that one thing where I don’t feel I am giving any effort and feel the stress? Till now I have experimented with few career options yet none of them made me feel that this is just where I always meant to be. Yes, I do get that odd instinct when I see others but when I attain that place I don’t find it interesting enough.
In my short life, till date I have done some variety of work- from working as a Technical Support in a top notch MNC’s to working as a Software Engineer and now as a consultant. Although I am new to this consultancy thing so I won’t comment on it but other places I didn’t enjoy at all. I always felt I needed to do something Better and that’s what adds up to your anxiety. People around me fail to understand that and it gets really difficult to make someone understand that you actually have no idea about what you love doing and that too when 25% of life has zipped in front of your eyes.
There was a time when I wanted to be a travel expert and roam around beautiful countries exploring new places just like one of those anchors in discovery or take pride in being the lucky cricket commentator and share dais with the likes of Sunil Gavaskar. Then there was a time when I wanted to buy Mc-Donald’s franchise or a pizza hut. Have my own company,be a writer etc etc.
I have no freaking idea what exactly I want from my life, hopefully when I grow very old and look back I would have lot of experience. Till now one thing I have learnt is that you actually need to get up and speak when it is required else people will walk all over you without even bothering.
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