I read somewhere that thousands of thoughts cross your mind in every single second and it’s important to take care what is passing between the ears. But than what happens when the mind loses its interest in any of the thought or perhaps any activity which is lined up? Or it behaves the way it does when you are sleeping in the night.
The reason why this thought crossed my mind is because I feel no matter what we need to fill our day with some activity or the other else it’s yet another day which is added to the number of days wasted in life. And worst is this realization comes only when your mind is not preoccupied with work or any other subject and you feel that nothing around you is going well. When you seem to share this with people, the immediate expected reaction is that something is wrong within your family or did you fight with your Boy Friend etc especially in case of girls.
None of them could fathom that this could be a resultant of not being able to do thing as much as you think you could do and absolutely unable to break out of this vicious cycle comprising of interest/work etc. When I go to sleep I realize that my day is wasted and then get up knowing that you have to face the same world to be disappointed yet again.
I wish there would be a way so that we could freeze the world outside and reorganize it the way we want. But then that’s an impossible task right! You simply can’t do it! Neither you can change yourself to the demands and do the necessary adjustment by not giving a DAMM. How long can you avoid getting effected by the ambience around you and concentrate on yourself and see that you come out with flying colors and learning. Is this realistically possible? At times I feel it’s bookish gyan which is baseless, then there are times I feel that it is very much possible. You would wish to be surrounded by “ Beautiful Minds” that would inspire you to work more than you can and fall in love with what you are doing.
Then again where do we find such people? Half of the crowd that you walk with are mostly self centered, have very little or no talent at all and yet when you talk to them you would feel that they are “Know it all “kinds. When you let them speak for more than 5 minutes you could see they would have switched from one subject to another without any synchronization. On top of it they would advice you and tell that it’s “YOU” who is the problem. It’s really difficult to survive in between these people who are sitting in the middle layer of our country across all sectors be it Politics or Private companies.
Amazing thing is that you can’t just avoid it and sooner or later if you don’t stay away you might just start speaking or doing like that. Work is the place where we tend to spend 60 to 70 percent of our life if that’s not what you are enjoying than is it worth the money you are taking for it. The underlined question is to find out what you enjoy most?
Is it so easy to figure this out, as I am still struggling to find out that one thing where I don’t feel I am giving any effort and feel the stress? Till now I have experimented with few career options yet none of them made me feel that this is just where I always meant to be. Yes, I do get that odd instinct when I see others but when I attain that place I don’t find it interesting enough.
In my short life, till date I have done some variety of work- from working as a Technical Support in a top notch MNC’s to working as a Software Engineer and now as a consultant. Although I am new to this consultancy thing so I won’t comment on it but other places I didn’t enjoy at all. I always felt I needed to do something Better and that’s what adds up to your anxiety. People around me fail to understand that and it gets really difficult to make someone understand that you actually have no idea about what you love doing and that too when 25% of life has zipped in front of your eyes.
There was a time when I wanted to be a travel expert and roam around beautiful countries exploring new places just like one of those anchors in discovery or take pride in being the lucky cricket commentator and share dais with the likes of Sunil Gavaskar. Then there was a time when I wanted to buy Mc-Donald’s franchise or a pizza hut. Have my own company,be a writer etc etc.
I have no freaking idea what exactly I want from my life, hopefully when I grow very old and look back I would have lot of experience. Till now one thing I have learnt is that you actually need to get up and speak when it is required else people will walk all over you without even bothering.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Zindagi Na Milegi Doobara!
Saw this movie last week end, found it a bit lengthy yet it ascertains the fact that we do actually have one life to live. Who wouldn’t want to live for the moment and make the most of it, but is it realistically possible in a world where you have so much to cater to and live almost like a machine.
A machine that gets up in the morning does some work at home goes to office, comes back in the evening , watch the idiot box with same moron serials or a movie and doze off to sleep This thing is repeated day after day and with a blink of an eye weeks turn into months and then years. You have two days as a week end which goes in doing some pending work and rest in Malls. When you look around you have to meet a standard which is already set, you have to adjust and make your way whether you like it or not. Whenever there is a festival, or any event the roads are blocked and it’s you who has to maneuver your way out in spite of all the sulking.
When you run through the day you hardly realize that the day has gone by with nothing fruitful done and on top of it you were not able to take up the extra task that you thought you could take up. The lifestyle has become so fast that today I can’t watch any movie more than two hours, it’s just difficult to concentrate that much and I get restless. I prefer to eat at McDonald’s or KFC than sit in a restaurant and wait for the orders due to time constraint.
Everyone expects you to do things quickly from the Project Manager to you yourself who expects a service. Even when it comes to teaching kids I have seen people getting agitated when they have to teach them anything more than once. You try and put everyone in the same bracket and equate everything.
Needless to say that you have a responsibility whose weight you have to take all your life. You simply can’t open your eyes and feel yourself lighter. Responsibility is actually very ironic, with time it only increases and increases. Many would say females have more responsibilities than men but then when you sit down to think about it and analyze it you would realize it’s not true. Most of the times you find yourself revolving around that centre called responsibility.
Tell me how many of us can pick up bags and go out on a trip to another continent. Forget about the other continent, how about a place near about your state. Wouldn’t it be difficult? There are so many constraints money to begin with and rest follows. Today scenario in many household has become such that a Maid Servant decides when you are going out and if she doesn’t turn up your day is screwed for some reason or the other.
You tend to feel that you need more and more money to have access to the word like happiness and peace of mind and perhaps that’s the reason where you try to take up work which gives you more money so you can have a Euro Trip in some phase of our life.
When it comes to me, I would love to be in a place where there is no time constraint where I plan my day at my own will. For eg, today the weather is fabulous a bit cloudy, drizzling with wind blowing gently over the face. Wish I could roam around or sit in the balcony with a cup of tea. See even a simple task like this is not possible as I am in office.
A machine that gets up in the morning does some work at home goes to office, comes back in the evening , watch the idiot box with same moron serials or a movie and doze off to sleep This thing is repeated day after day and with a blink of an eye weeks turn into months and then years. You have two days as a week end which goes in doing some pending work and rest in Malls. When you look around you have to meet a standard which is already set, you have to adjust and make your way whether you like it or not. Whenever there is a festival, or any event the roads are blocked and it’s you who has to maneuver your way out in spite of all the sulking.
When you run through the day you hardly realize that the day has gone by with nothing fruitful done and on top of it you were not able to take up the extra task that you thought you could take up. The lifestyle has become so fast that today I can’t watch any movie more than two hours, it’s just difficult to concentrate that much and I get restless. I prefer to eat at McDonald’s or KFC than sit in a restaurant and wait for the orders due to time constraint.
Everyone expects you to do things quickly from the Project Manager to you yourself who expects a service. Even when it comes to teaching kids I have seen people getting agitated when they have to teach them anything more than once. You try and put everyone in the same bracket and equate everything.
Needless to say that you have a responsibility whose weight you have to take all your life. You simply can’t open your eyes and feel yourself lighter. Responsibility is actually very ironic, with time it only increases and increases. Many would say females have more responsibilities than men but then when you sit down to think about it and analyze it you would realize it’s not true. Most of the times you find yourself revolving around that centre called responsibility.
Tell me how many of us can pick up bags and go out on a trip to another continent. Forget about the other continent, how about a place near about your state. Wouldn’t it be difficult? There are so many constraints money to begin with and rest follows. Today scenario in many household has become such that a Maid Servant decides when you are going out and if she doesn’t turn up your day is screwed for some reason or the other.
You tend to feel that you need more and more money to have access to the word like happiness and peace of mind and perhaps that’s the reason where you try to take up work which gives you more money so you can have a Euro Trip in some phase of our life.
When it comes to me, I would love to be in a place where there is no time constraint where I plan my day at my own will. For eg, today the weather is fabulous a bit cloudy, drizzling with wind blowing gently over the face. Wish I could roam around or sit in the balcony with a cup of tea. See even a simple task like this is not possible as I am in office.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Looking out..
looking out of window,
from my office's desk,
I can see clouds hanging in the sky,
ready to break apart and fall...
I wish I could go out,
for a walk holding hands,
let the tiny drizzle of water,
brush my face..or kiss my feet.
And listen to a soft track,
from that same diary whose pages..
are kept in some part of eye’s mind..
which you seldom tap into.
or sit in a huge soft chair..
in the balcony of yours..
with a cup of tea and fries...
recollecting people you knew once..
People whose company you enjoyed...
for a minute or for years..
Yet, they all seem to be living..
far far away where you can’t reach...
it brings up that smile back,
on otherwise boring day,
When you look out the windows...
And watch it FALL..at its own pace & will.
from my office's desk,
I can see clouds hanging in the sky,
ready to break apart and fall...
I wish I could go out,
for a walk holding hands,
let the tiny drizzle of water,
brush my face..or kiss my feet.
And listen to a soft track,
from that same diary whose pages..
are kept in some part of eye’s mind..
which you seldom tap into.
or sit in a huge soft chair..
in the balcony of yours..
with a cup of tea and fries...
recollecting people you knew once..
People whose company you enjoyed...
for a minute or for years..
Yet, they all seem to be living..
far far away where you can’t reach...
it brings up that smile back,
on otherwise boring day,
When you look out the windows...
And watch it FALL..at its own pace & will.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Kashmakash (22/05/11)
Yesterday, we went for a movie that I was not so keen on seeing as it looked like a period drama which I don’t usually enjoy. Since it was a family outing I had to go, moreover it was based on a Rabindra Nath Tagore story which I hadn’t read before. Keeping fingers crossed, I went ahead with the flow. Movie began in a hall which was empty, Maximum 20 people were there.
First thing I noticed was the lip sync which ascertained the fact that it is a dubbed movie so the dialogues made by the protagonist didn’t appear as convincing as it would have been in the original movie. I wonder why a producer like Subhash Ghai didn’t apply his experience and used subtitles instead of dubbing in Hindi. This film could have been shot just the way Ravan was made in two languages Hindi & Tamil even the star cast was different in both the versions.
Apart from this the acting could have been much better because of which some key moments didn’t come out as it should have been. You were left wondering “Oh this happened”. The best part of this movie was the story line which lingers through the mind. For instance we can’t even imagine getting married to a person whom we have not seen. Today we try to know as much as possible about our respective partners before we take the step. Even though there are so many moments we feel whether we have made the right choice or make an effort to change the person we are married to. When you marry a complete stranger whom you have not seen or spoken to, than you simply can’t make out the difference between “X” or “Y”. The only thing you could have heard is the name. I wonder would Ramesh would have realized the swap if the wife didn’t tell him her name?
Another thing difficult to comprehend was a girl waiting eternally for a guy who came in and then again left without giving any information which I felt was not right. However, the beauty of this story was that it makes you feel that a human mind is an ensemble of emotions and capable of handling lot more than we actually give credit for.
In spite of this I wasn’t impressed with the movie, my friend said that’s because I am a “Band Bajaa Baraat” type and hence it is difficult to understand such movies. Yes I like movies like “BBB” or “Dabaang” but these are not those movies that would inspire you to think or make you see a different perspective of life.
My type of movie is something that fills my heart with hope, makes me feel if I could put my head down and sit to do something or the other I can do it even if I am not doing it. Something that makes me cry, subtly tickles me to a laugh or something that makes me a part of it, not like an outsider sitting in a row and watching. Till date I have seen a good variety of movies both English and Hindi. I am a diehard fan of love stories and I can watch it if the movie has some good looking actors.
One thing is for sure that it is very very difficult to make a movie exactly like a book. This means that I would actually sit down and read the story itself “Nauka Doobi” by Rabindra nath tagore to find out what I felt was right or wrong. Is it my thought process that I couldn’t like the movie as I was told. Or the movie did not lived up to the authors expectation.
Would read it soon for sure! Till than eagerly waiting for Kung fu Panda !
First thing I noticed was the lip sync which ascertained the fact that it is a dubbed movie so the dialogues made by the protagonist didn’t appear as convincing as it would have been in the original movie. I wonder why a producer like Subhash Ghai didn’t apply his experience and used subtitles instead of dubbing in Hindi. This film could have been shot just the way Ravan was made in two languages Hindi & Tamil even the star cast was different in both the versions.
Apart from this the acting could have been much better because of which some key moments didn’t come out as it should have been. You were left wondering “Oh this happened”. The best part of this movie was the story line which lingers through the mind. For instance we can’t even imagine getting married to a person whom we have not seen. Today we try to know as much as possible about our respective partners before we take the step. Even though there are so many moments we feel whether we have made the right choice or make an effort to change the person we are married to. When you marry a complete stranger whom you have not seen or spoken to, than you simply can’t make out the difference between “X” or “Y”. The only thing you could have heard is the name. I wonder would Ramesh would have realized the swap if the wife didn’t tell him her name?
Another thing difficult to comprehend was a girl waiting eternally for a guy who came in and then again left without giving any information which I felt was not right. However, the beauty of this story was that it makes you feel that a human mind is an ensemble of emotions and capable of handling lot more than we actually give credit for.
In spite of this I wasn’t impressed with the movie, my friend said that’s because I am a “Band Bajaa Baraat” type and hence it is difficult to understand such movies. Yes I like movies like “BBB” or “Dabaang” but these are not those movies that would inspire you to think or make you see a different perspective of life.
My type of movie is something that fills my heart with hope, makes me feel if I could put my head down and sit to do something or the other I can do it even if I am not doing it. Something that makes me cry, subtly tickles me to a laugh or something that makes me a part of it, not like an outsider sitting in a row and watching. Till date I have seen a good variety of movies both English and Hindi. I am a diehard fan of love stories and I can watch it if the movie has some good looking actors.
One thing is for sure that it is very very difficult to make a movie exactly like a book. This means that I would actually sit down and read the story itself “Nauka Doobi” by Rabindra nath tagore to find out what I felt was right or wrong. Is it my thought process that I couldn’t like the movie as I was told. Or the movie did not lived up to the authors expectation.
Would read it soon for sure! Till than eagerly waiting for Kung fu Panda !
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Raise your head and Smile!
When someone comes by you,
With a comment out of blue,
Tears come in your eyes,
Yet, Raise your head and smile.
When you hear people say,
Others are success while yours.
Is still a Question mark?
Yet, Raise your head and smile.
When you can’t dress as well as them,
Or can’t speak as well as them,
Or can’t do as well as them,
Yet, Raise your head and smile.
When you are trying,
Every single day,
Still not able to do things exactly required,
Yet, Raise your head and smile.
When food comes on your plate,
You might not like it at all,
Some leaves & vegetables set,
Yet, Raise your head and smile.
If you won’t this beautiful life,
Would become bitter,
And often you would cry alone,
Until you learn to Raise your head and Smile!
By,
Tulika Jyoti Vardhan
With a comment out of blue,
Tears come in your eyes,
Yet, Raise your head and smile.
When you hear people say,
Others are success while yours.
Is still a Question mark?
Yet, Raise your head and smile.
When you can’t dress as well as them,
Or can’t speak as well as them,
Or can’t do as well as them,
Yet, Raise your head and smile.
When you are trying,
Every single day,
Still not able to do things exactly required,
Yet, Raise your head and smile.
When food comes on your plate,
You might not like it at all,
Some leaves & vegetables set,
Yet, Raise your head and smile.
If you won’t this beautiful life,
Would become bitter,
And often you would cry alone,
Until you learn to Raise your head and Smile!
By,
Tulika Jyoti Vardhan
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Recognized!
It’s just weird how small thing in otherwise boring day gives you so much of happiness that you want to grab your pen and write about it (in my case keyboard). No I haven’t got a promotion or a wonderful appraisal but I am overjoyed with the fact that my name appears automatically when you search on Google. Not a big deal! I know but still I love every bit of it.
“Recognition”! Perhaps is one thing we fight for every single day of our lives, right from the moment we are born till we take our last breath. Leading an invisible life at a work place or at home is very sad. You tend to start finding fault within yourself and become cynical of things around you.
When you come to office every single day of the week and find yourself sitting alone with almost no work you regret it. What adds to your pain is the fact that people are least bothered whether you are coming or not. Fighting this is not as easy as it looks because you simply can’t approach people and tell them about yourself just as when we were in school we used to often write an essay on “Myself” probably an act to know one self better. There are HR people who would try to have a common even where you participate and get to know others. These events are held once a while and the scale varies from time to time.
You sit in the corner and glare at your workstation wondering when you would get a chance to have your say in this new place. That’s why whenever we leave one place and go to another we tend to feel that the place where we were previously working or living is far better. But then there was a time when you were new there as well. This “invisible” status takes time sometimes it takes days and sometimes it takes months to establish oneself. Amazingly, this feeling remains same whenever you begin something just like the first day of school/college/office even change of office etc.
At times I envy people who stay at home and their lives revolve around the house without the headache of coming to the office. They can do things at their own convenience and get a lot of “Me” time where you can do things you would enjoy like reading your favorite love story or watching a movie. But then when I see my friends who are staying at home I see frustration in them as well, as they find themselves with no work once husband goes to office till he comes back. It’s not that all of them are unhappy because there are some friends who are very happy to stay at home and lead a peaceful life.
Coming back to me, I am still figuring out what I want to be in life ahead. Believe me there are times when I feel that I can write a daily soap and work with Ekta kapoor so that the standard of serials improves.
At this moment I am working on something which could be something I would enjoy at some point of time as it’s mostly based on “Cloud Computing”.
Let’s see! Till than I am in “invisible status” at office.
“Recognition”! Perhaps is one thing we fight for every single day of our lives, right from the moment we are born till we take our last breath. Leading an invisible life at a work place or at home is very sad. You tend to start finding fault within yourself and become cynical of things around you.
When you come to office every single day of the week and find yourself sitting alone with almost no work you regret it. What adds to your pain is the fact that people are least bothered whether you are coming or not. Fighting this is not as easy as it looks because you simply can’t approach people and tell them about yourself just as when we were in school we used to often write an essay on “Myself” probably an act to know one self better. There are HR people who would try to have a common even where you participate and get to know others. These events are held once a while and the scale varies from time to time.
You sit in the corner and glare at your workstation wondering when you would get a chance to have your say in this new place. That’s why whenever we leave one place and go to another we tend to feel that the place where we were previously working or living is far better. But then there was a time when you were new there as well. This “invisible” status takes time sometimes it takes days and sometimes it takes months to establish oneself. Amazingly, this feeling remains same whenever you begin something just like the first day of school/college/office even change of office etc.
At times I envy people who stay at home and their lives revolve around the house without the headache of coming to the office. They can do things at their own convenience and get a lot of “Me” time where you can do things you would enjoy like reading your favorite love story or watching a movie. But then when I see my friends who are staying at home I see frustration in them as well, as they find themselves with no work once husband goes to office till he comes back. It’s not that all of them are unhappy because there are some friends who are very happy to stay at home and lead a peaceful life.
Coming back to me, I am still figuring out what I want to be in life ahead. Believe me there are times when I feel that I can write a daily soap and work with Ekta kapoor so that the standard of serials improves.
At this moment I am working on something which could be something I would enjoy at some point of time as it’s mostly based on “Cloud Computing”.
Let’s see! Till than I am in “invisible status” at office.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
It's been a while..
It's been a while..
Since I sat to put in..
Some thoughts that pass..
From one ear to the other..
Why?I just wondered!
Could it be the change of city..
Or the job which got hectic..
Taking most of my time..
Even then I did have time..
which is often occupied..
with love.&.family..
living at a distance...
'Distance' is an amazing thing..
In maths it is..
distance multiplied by the time..
but in real ..it's not the same.
More the distance..more is the time..
which is needed to cover..
with each passing momment..
which changes from a day to days..
but then when you are at home..
you feel not the same..
as you want to move out and live..
a life which looks better being away..
You get more freedom..
you get to decide more..
you get to choose whatever you want..
with your money in your pocket..
Inspite of all this..
there is a time when you wish...
it would have been better..if..
you stayed at home..
Home..which has its own ..
problems, tensions..fights..
at times water,at times electricity..
at times weather or even people..
whatever it may be..
it would always be the place..
which would have people to love..
and embrace you just the way you are!
By,
Tulika Jyoti Vardhan
Since I sat to put in..
Some thoughts that pass..
From one ear to the other..
Why?I just wondered!
Could it be the change of city..
Or the job which got hectic..
Taking most of my time..
Even then I did have time..
which is often occupied..
with love.&.family..
living at a distance...
'Distance' is an amazing thing..
In maths it is..
distance multiplied by the time..
but in real ..it's not the same.
More the distance..more is the time..
which is needed to cover..
with each passing momment..
which changes from a day to days..
but then when you are at home..
you feel not the same..
as you want to move out and live..
a life which looks better being away..
You get more freedom..
you get to decide more..
you get to choose whatever you want..
with your money in your pocket..
Inspite of all this..
there is a time when you wish...
it would have been better..if..
you stayed at home..
Home..which has its own ..
problems, tensions..fights..
at times water,at times electricity..
at times weather or even people..
whatever it may be..
it would always be the place..
which would have people to love..
and embrace you just the way you are!
By,
Tulika Jyoti Vardhan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)